


On Your Doorstep

by FlateShippingRates



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst to Fluff, Fluff, Forced Kiss, Love Letters, M/M, Pining, Romance, Secret Admirer, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21728059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlateShippingRates/pseuds/FlateShippingRates
Summary: “I waited for you, Will! I was so ready to know who could write me something so sweet that I jumped at the first idiot to claim it. Maybe I’m the problem here though, because the whole time I just wished it would be you that came forward.”“You did?”“How could you not see I’m totally in love with you?”---Secret admirer confusion fic.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been seeing a lot of secret admirer fics this winter and I wanted in.

There it was: a letter placed on the center of his welcome mat. It was white and unsuspecting, with a small, red heart on the back where it was supposed to be open and the front said “Nico” in practiced handwriting. It had been like this for almost a month now; he would wake up, look down, and see a letter neatly placed there--he wasn’t sure when they were being dropped off but they were always there in the morning. He, also, was not sure who was doing this. He just knew that, although apprehensive at first, he had started falling in love with the words. 

The letter felt light in his hands and he tapped the outside with nervous fingers before carefully opening it--no need for broken hearts. Nico slowly made his way back inside and to his bed, already smiling as he read:

_Dear Nico,_

__

__

_I can’t stop thinking about you; the grooves of your teeth as you smile making the perfect formation. Loving you makes me feel like Atlas and, although he was punished, I would happily carry the weight of the world if it meant I was holding you forever._

__

__

_And, in the past, I used to look for the moon when I first stepped outside--always knew her general direction and used her for some certainty in my life--now I just think of you. Your smile is the perfect crescent and it pulls my eyes towards you like waves with the moon. (I do hope though I am not pushing you away in a slow, nervous cycle.) When the world is long gone, only the moon and the waves, I will still wish it could just be us for the rest of time._

_The push and pull._

_And just us._

_Forever._

_Just us._

_Sincerely,_

_Your Secret Admirer_

Nico sighed to himself before tucking the letter neatly back into the envelope, dating it and placing it in his nightstand. A few people knew about the letters, only because they had seen them on his porch and not because he was willingly sharing them with anyone. It felt special to him; no one had ever done this before. 

It was hard not to be curious who would be writing these though, if not his friends, and, considering most of his friends were in relationships, he couldn’t imagine it would be them. He did have a few other friends it could be however; for example, Clovis and Will. The son of Apollo was always working in the infirmary (it felt like anyway) so the Italian hesitated to believe it was him. The words were dreamy and sweet, but if it was Clovis then why would he not say it to him or warp his dreams into something pleasant?

Then again, Will always did find time for an evening game of mythomagic or just a casual conversation at lunch. Their friendship came naturally and brought peace of mind to the younger boy that no one else had given him since Bianca. He knew Will was the type to mask negative emotions with happiness, but he had never seen him in love. It could very well be his best friend.

For the second time that day, Nico stepped outside to the fresh afternoon air and stretched his arms towards the sky with a groan. He bounced down the steps towards the arena, he had a lesson to teach and then he was free to lounge about in the strawberry field for the rest of the day. It was for younger kids so he grabbed a practice sword, finding his class already there and chatting among themselves. 

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” He called his students to attention before reviewing the basics, feeling much lighter this morning when he thought of the lovely words, and went easy (well, easy for Nico) on them when they practiced. It went so smooth that he didn’t notice when it was over until the kids started silently and slowly packing up. 

They departed and Nico was left to clean up the arena before the next class entered. His dark eyes keep flickering towards the entrance, where a brunette boy was waiting with an expecting smile--still, he felt no need to rush. He recognized this boy as a child from the Hermes cabin, someone he talked to from time to time, but didn’t consider himself close with. The boy’s eyes were a striking shade of blue as he watched the Italian walk over. 

“Hey, Dylan, what’s up?” Nico muttered as he kept walking by and gestured for the other boy to follow. 

The brunette stepped into time with swift, quick feet and a wide smile on his face. “I just wanted to ask you something, angel.”

Dark eyes fluttered to the back of his skull before the Italian groaned, “what?” 

“Have you been getting my letters?” Dylan asked, wrapping an arm around Nico’s shoulder as his stopped in his tracks. It came out of left field; how could someone he hardly knew say words like that to him? It felt like the world had opened up and swallowed him—no, worse than that, because at least that way he could hide in his father’s palace. It felt like utter and total disappointment radiating from his core.

“You’re my secret admirer?” Nico asked, shock written all over his face, the confusion taking over his mind to the point he didn’t react when a kiss was placed on his cheek. 

“Yeah, of course. I mean, I’m the son of a messenger god--I know a little something about love letters. Did you like them?” 

Nico slowly nodded, brushing his fingertips against where he was just kissed. The words were so sweet and dedicated, so why did this feel so wrong? Why did he feel so disappointed? Why couldn’t he stop thinking of Will? 

He didn’t fight it when their fingers were laced up, when he was dragged to the dining pavilion, or when he saw something like hurt on the son of Apollo’s face for a split second. There were no more thoughts of lying in strawberry fields; instead, he just sat silently as the other boy made him a victim of PDA. It was the kind of wrong that felt impossible to fight, as if he was being held at gunpoint by emotions. 

It was hard not to look at Will for support or help though, he was always good at smoothing situations over and offering advice or at least a shoulder to cry on. The blond also knew everyone at camp and if he could read the letters, maybe he would be able to tell if this new boy had actually written them or not. Every time he looked over at the Apollo table, however, it felt like Will was looking anywhere but at him. Hurt and fear turned in his stomach until the only thing he could think to do was summon a skeleton’s hand to grab Dylan’s ankle under the table--just something to scare him and create a distraction. 

When Nico finally managed to pull out of unwelcomed arms, he practically sprinted back to his cabin to pour over the letters again. There was no way someone he talked to so briefly could feel so deeply about him, right? The notes felt like shared memories but there was no direct way to pinpoint it--no hints to who it really could be. It had to be someone he knew, but what if it wasn’t? Nico regretted keeping these letters to himself now--wishing for perspective on the situation--and would take advice from literally anyone by this point. 

He threw himself on his bed in frustration and buried his face into his pillow, trying not to scream and, if he did, at least it would be muffled. Too consumed by his feelings, he didn’t notice someone come in until the weight on his bed shifted. He hopefully looked up, fully expecting to see Will, but instead it was Dylan with his lopsided smile and hands all wrong on the small of Nico’s back. 

“What do you want?” The son of Hades snapped as he turned to sit up. The place where the hand had been felt like it was burning from disgust.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” The brunette teased, moving closer until Nico was cornered. It was a tricky situation; Nico could fight back the advances, but he was afraid he would overdo it--use too much force and severely hurt someone. If this is who he says he is then how could he reject Dylan? After all those sweet words especially? Would someone really just say romantic words and not mean them? It was naive, he knew, but Nico wanted to believe him--to think someone would say something like that to him in earnest.

So when Dylan leaned over, brushed their lips together (successfully taking Nico’s first kiss), the son of Hades allowed it to happen. He leaned into his pillow as the other hovered over him and tried to pretend it was Will placing his hand on his chest. He still cringed at the physical contact, played dead, until at last Dylan pulled back. “Huh,” the son of Hermes said, “Was that your first kiss?” 

“Yes.” Nico shrunk back, leaning on his elbows now with eyes fixed to the wall. 

“You’ll get better the more we do it,” Dylan said with a laugh in his voice. “Maybe we should practice more?” 

“I think you should go,” Nico replied with force and mustering up a glare. For a moment he thought it was enough to deter the other boy until he saw a hint of mischief in the other’s eyes. The way he grabbed at Nico’s wrists wasn’t forceful but still, his dark eyes shone with fear, until at last he jerked away. He kicked the brunette of his bed with all his force before stomping to the door and flinging it open, only to find Will frozen at the entrance.

He had a letter in his hand, the same kind that had practiced handwriting and a heart on the back, and there was curiosity written on his tanned face. Blue drilled into brown eyes, the shadows pulling towards Nico as he slowly realized what Will was holding and what a fool he had been. “Have you been writing me those letters this whole time?” 

“I, uh…” Will looked carefully behind Nico at Dylan, not sure of the situation and not wanting to make it worse. “I have been, yes. I just, uh--I was gonna drop this one off as the last one, since you have a boyfriend now but I already had--”

“He is not my boyfriend,” Nico growled, allowing the shadows to grab at the son of Hermes with furiosity. He was practically shaking with anger now and grabbed his sword from the entrance, but was stopped in his tracks by a gentle hand on his wrist. 

“Nico, I’m sure whatever happened can be worked out,” Will tried, all too aware of how dangerous the son of Hades could be when he was irate. “Why don’t we talk about it, huh? It’s not past curfew, we can go to the strawberry fields and--”

“He lied to me! He said he wrote those letters, Will! And--and he took my first…” By instinct his hands went to his lips. He had always imagined his first kiss would leave him feeling like a bee to a flower; now though, he didn’t want his lips to even touch each other. The fear on Dylan’s face was satisfying and Nico was ready to stalk the rest of the way over, tower over him, and enact his revenge but he could still feel Will’s warm hand on his wrist and soothing magic.

“I’m so sorry, Nico,” Will tried, tightening his grip so the son of Hades’ didn’t do anything he would regret later, even if it was justified. “If I would have just told you sooner instead of--”

“You think this is your fault? If he didn’t lie--”

“I could have said something sooner though or given you hints to--”

“Why didn’t you then? Did you feel like you couldn’t talk to me?”

“It wasn’t that! It was just…”

“Just what?”

“I asked the Aphrodite cabin what to do and they suggested this, but I didn’t realize how much I would like doing it and how much harder it would make telling you.”

“So you just went on for a month?”

“Well, when you say it like that…”

“Were you ever going to tell me or was I just supposed to fall in love with someone who was never going to give me their actual time?”

“When you say it like that it seems bad!”

“I waited for you, Will! I was so ready to know who could write me something so sweet that I jumped at the first idiot to claim it. Maybe I’m the problem here though, because the whole time I just wished it would be you that came forward.”

“You did?”

“How could you not see I’m totally in love with you?”

“I’m sorry, Neeks… It’s just--”

“You both need to get out--”

“But--”

_“Now!”_

And before anything else could be said, Will and Dylan had skeletal hands gripping them on each side as they were dragged out the door, willing or not. The cabin door slammed and the soldiers stood watch outside; it was as if the grass around the cabin was slowly dying and becoming discolored, but maybe that was just in the blond’s head. Although tempting, Dylan decided not to make a joke about how emotion the son of Hades could be and took the stunned silence as a time to escape. This was a problem for another day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, like I said last time, I write love letters for people on the side. This was good practice for me. I hope you like it!

Maybe it wasn’t the best or most mature way to handle the situation, but it was the way Nico had settled on. He stayed in his cabin, shadow traveling out for lunch and dinner in the city (that way he wouldn’t run into anyone he knew), and coming back to sit in brooding silence or blaring music. He didn’t have to worry about money because he had accumulated a large sum from his father, who overpaid him to run minor, quick errands and since essentially everything at camp was taken care of, he didn’t spend a lot. Also, there were lots of cheap food options and it didn’t hurt that he spoke Italian to some immigrants that had opened their own place nearby. He felt right at home in this routine.

Admittedly, it was tiring to have skeleton soldiers up all the time, even when he wasn’t there, and then, on top of that, shadow traveling. He knew it wasn’t sustainable and felt at least mildly exhausted all the time from it, but he was stubborn and hurt. So, this, right now, was his plan: Ignore all Iris messages, voices of reason, and talks of feelings for the rest of forever. It sounded good, but he forgot to account for the equal stubbornness of a certain blond. 

The skeletons were set to scare—not actually hurt—Will away from the Hades cabin. Nico didn’t account for the fact that the son of Apollo would send other campers to drop off letters with practiced writing and a red heart to his cabin. He also didn’t expect the Hermes cabin to take responsibility for what happened by helping in the success of the love letter drop off. 

Once a day, a skeleton soldier would awkwardly bring him a letter to which he acted like he didn’t want, but when the door was shut and it was just him, he tore it open like it held the secret to eternal happiness (and maybe in some sense it did). 

Today’s letter read:

_Dear Nico,_

_I am unsure if you are actually reading these and you would be well within your rights to just toss them out but everyday, when I see you open up for just a split second, I know there’s a chance you are still listening._

_So, please, hear me now:_

_I now know why Orpheus looked back at Eurydice; how strong and crazy desire for another person can make us. Everyday I regret not telling you sooner, constantly looking back on our memories together—are you still there, my darling, my love? Are you still there?_

_Give me some sign you are so I don’t look back and lose you forever._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Will_

He scanned it a few times, deciding if it was worth it to respond—if only to let the blond know he was still listening. It would sting him more if he thought the Italian didn’t give him his time anymore but love isn’t about saying “a-ha! I gotcha! You cared more than me!” If it meant being with someone who loved you and you loved back, even if only for twenty-four hours, ten minutes, or a lifetime, the taste of it would linger forever. There would always be that moment when someone saw you—all of you—and still said, “I love you.” 

So, Nico set a bird with bits of flesh still messily attached to its body to wait outside his cabin for the next letter. If it saw the blond walking anywhere near his cabin, it would swoop down with purpose, until three days had passed and Will realized what it wanted. 

He handed a letter to the bird with a small bag of ambrosia to rejuvenate Nico from the overzealous use of power. It was only a small piece because, of course, a bird couldn’t carry all that he would need; although, the letter could be something to lure the son of Hades into proper care. 

Nico practically snatched the letter when it came, giving the bird its peace for the rest of the day, and nibbled at the ambrosia as he read:

_Dear Nico,_

_I want to tell you how I wish I had taken time off work to speak to you more. I’ve never felt as good as when I’m talking to you. If you came out, I would say how much I love the way your hair curls in on the left side and out on the right. I would whisper a thank you to every blade of grass you were about to walk on. I would kiss the sole of your heart for stepping all over mine that first time. I would tell you how much I dream of just holding your hand--how fast my heart pounds, even now. I want to tell you how I remember seeing you in all your glory and how when I said, “stay” what I meant to say was, “I want to say nothing but your name forever.”_

_Nico, my darling.  
Nico, my heart.  
Nico, my life._

_I still look up at the hill, expecting to see you again like the first time I was ever given a reason to stop playing dead. I want to never again lose sight of what I saw. I never want to lose sight of what is real. The feelings between us are not meant to be coo-ed at like a newborn, they are well formed and they are ours. I want to nurture this with you. I want you to know, even now, with the distance, if you reached out your hand you would touch mine that’s how close I am._

_But, in times like these, to summarize all my feelings, it would be easier to simply say: I love you and I always will._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Will_

Then, just like that, the pacing began--back and forth like a tiger in a cage--thinking could be a dangerous game. How could he be mad at Will for not expressing his feelings when he was so bad at it too? But, then again, the blond did always push Nico into speaking his mind so this wasn’t exactly fair. It wasn’t like the Italian blamed his friend for the stolen first kiss; that would be unfair. He just felt betrayed that their communication had slipped so much without him noticing. 

He peered outside to see if he could see some tuft of blond in the bushes but was only met with his own soldiers. These letters were the only thing making it through his walls. 

The next day, he summoned a bird to capture the letter but this time, he sat on his porch. Blue eyes purposely stared through brown while he passed off the note and even though Nico didn’t wave back, Will knew this was the start of a real conversation. The quagmired situation that settled between them could be sorted soon. It had only taken two weeks of insistent, demanding love. 

Nico peeled the heart back, pulled the letter out, and then, with one last glance at Will, he walked inside to read it. 

_Dear Nico,_

_You asked me how I couldn’t see you loved me and I’m sorry. The way you love is so quiet and so sweet, I sunk into it comfortably like a frog. I didn’t notice the heat. I was silent and still for so long, you must have wondered if I was alive, if I loved you._

_I did,  
_I did,  
_I do,  
_And I always will._ ___

____

____

_Sincerely yours,_

_Will_

Sometimes his heart was so heavy he felt like he couldn’t do anything except lay in his bed. There had been whole years when he had been nothing but mean yet thought he was just being honest while he hid. He wanted to leave behind his shame for who he was and how he loved. He wanted to be nothing but honest. He felt the venom in his teeth and pushed it out with a tense breath. No, love was not about saying “a-ha!” 

Love was about seeing someone with their heart exposed, taking it into your hands like a scared mouse and knowing when to set it free. The ceiling felt so far away. He felt small and, Gods, he wanted to be big. He wanted to be able to fill his lover’s hoodie, to save each others heart, and press down to stop the bleeding. They were both exposed, trying to wrap their hands around each other. 

It was important to know what freedom means to someone. 

Nico’s conscious buzzed like a bug zapper on a Texan’s porch and in the morning he let his soldiers fall apart in front of Will as he stood in the doorway. There was a pause. Then, before he could change his mind, the blond came bouncing up the stairs as if he wasn’t just ignored for days. Blue skies bore into the forest of Nico’s brown eyes, his breath stilled when he felt a tanned hand on his hip and saw the hesitance as Will leaned down. “How are you?” The blond whispered, their mouths so close he could feel the air move around them.

“What do you mean?” Nico asked, lamely, looking down at pink lips. He couldn’t help but think about how terrible Will was at archery yet had a perfect Cupid’s bow. 

“I mean… I missed you. I missed you, thank you for staying,” he mumbled.

“Please, may I kiss you?” Nico closed his eyes as Will shut the distance between them, pulling forward like the waves. It really could be like this forever. The push and pull and just them. Like this. Forever. The push and the pull.

**Author's Note:**

> I write love-letters for couples as a side job and I was also kind of using this as an excuse to put together scraps.


End file.
